05/03/2020 {Just Thoughts On Paper}
The weekend is ending, I'm getting mentally prepared for the week ahead.
I had a great weekend, eating croissants and strawberries. Listening to some chill music and playing Animal Crossing. Honestly I feel like as much as going out into the world is fun, I cherish these moments we spend inside taking care of ourselves. It's great to just slow down and focus on the little things. This big wide world that usually turns so fast finally let's us enjoy the moment by standing still for a while. I'm a chronic over-thinker, my head is always full and I'm never able to just sit there and be.
In the last few weeks/months, I've been under a lot of stress being an essential worker but at the same time, I never took as much time for my physical and mental health before.
Whenever I get free time, I normally just get lazy and "sad." I don't necessarily focus on the right things and I end up sabotaging myself. I've was working so hard on getting a more stable life but I never seemed to achieve it.
This time of social distancing really helped me think about what I really want and what's
achievable for me to keep a good work/home life balance. Having a good life hygiene while working is a struggle for me and it really feels like "adulting" is hard. It's a widely overused phrase but the concept remains relevant. Working to pay bills, finding time to work out, eating healthy, having a social life, taking care of your mental health, do chores around the house, make time for Netflix and read books but still have 8 hours of sleep is just exhausting. I asked myself if I was trying to do it because I needed it or if I wanted to live that ideal life I was supposed to live. I really thought about what would actually make me happy and I think I found things that I could carry on even if things get back to it's usual pace.
achievable for me to keep a good work/home life balance. Having a good life hygiene while working is a struggle for me and it really feels like "adulting" is hard. It's a widely overused phrase but the concept remains relevant. Working to pay bills, finding time to work out, eating healthy, having a social life, taking care of your mental health, do chores around the house, make time for Netflix and read books but still have 8 hours of sleep is just exhausting. I asked myself if I was trying to do it because I needed it or if I wanted to live that ideal life I was supposed to live. I really thought about what would actually make me happy and I think I found things that I could carry on even if things get back to it's usual pace.
Tomorrow, we are starting a progressive "back-to-school" and we are supposed to start "normal" school activities on May 19th. I don't know yet if it will happen or what will happen but I feel like I will be able to go back and still keep doing the things I love outside of work. I haven't found a real balance yet. I'm still letting the dishes pile up and I don't do laundry as often I should but I feel good.
I don't feel guilty about down days, I don't hold myself to an impossible standard.
I just felt like spilling what was on my mind on "paper" and I'm gonna share it with the world even if it sounds dumb or not well written enough to be published anywhere else because it makes me feel good.
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